CDV survivor: "Home is not an option anymore. Because I fear him - - Columbia, South Carolina |

CDV survivor: "Home is not an option anymore. Because I fear him."

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Getting out of an abusive relationship can be a tough feat for anyone. Many women, in particular, feel powerless against their abuser.

On Monday night, we introduced you to one such woman. 

"I was watching news stories about women who were being killed by their spouses and I didn't want to be one of those statistics," said the woman who did not wish to be identified.

Statistics like 30-year-old Shaquanah Jones Brannon who police say was killed by her boyfriend last May on her first day of work at a Chinese restaurant in Batesburg-Leesville. Or 26-year-old Almanita Smith, whose body was put on the front lawn after Richland County deputies say her boyfriend killed her last August. Or Cindy Koon who Newberry County deputies say her husband killed her and put her body in the river just after Thanksgiving last year.

"If you can get out, get out and leave," said another domestic abuse survivor. "Make a plan as best you can and leave and it will get better."

The survivor says she suffered through 8 years of abuse because she did not want a broken marriage or her four young children to grow up without a father. But each year, she says the abuse grew worse.

"The bruises became worse and my scars lasted longer," said the survivor. "Before it was just a swollen lip or a swollen face. Then it turned into a knot on my head, two black eyes and a bruise that lasted for weeks."

Three years ago, a counselor told her to make a safety plan. She says she thought about it, but there was no plan when it was time to go.    

"I was actually so afraid that night I didn't even pack suitcases," said the survivor. "I simply got the kids, their car seats, a couple of their toys, my laptop and I left."

She says she didn't even have time to grab shoes.

"Home is not an option anymore," said the survivor. "Because I fear him."

Sistercare, a well-respected resource for women in domestic violence situations, has tips for creating a safety plan.

  • Have a packed bag ready. Keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place.
  • Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents and extra clothes with someone you trust so that you can leave quickly.
  • Discuss a safety plan with your children for times when you are not with them.
  • Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, stairwell, or elevator would be best.
  • Always remember: You do not deserve to be hit or threatened.

"It's a hard decision and after you leave it doesn't get easier, but you will get through it," said the survivor.

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