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Line King dreams SEC dream, wakes with a scream

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(RNN) - Is this Week 8 or 9 or has this football season just been one long dream? Seems like it. The Line King is hovering above .500 and that is like dreaming you're walking around downtown in your underwear.

It's been a bad dream for the Auburn Plainspeople that's for sure - you know ULM is kicking themselves losing to those underachievers.

It's been a recurring nightmare for Kentucky or opponents on Bammer's schedule – will it never end? 

Another broken dream for Georgia, South Carolina and Tennessee fans – they thought THIS year WAS next year.

Lots of daydreaming down in Gainesville these days - thinking they see Urban Meyer and Tim Tebow on the field.

The Ole Miss Rebel Black Bear fans have been sleepwalking for about 40 years, dreaming about returning to the days of Archie.

Mississippi State fans are dreaming of that 2013 John Deere Series 9 Round Baler they saw down on Main Street yesterday.

The Vandy fan dreams of a bowl game someday outside the state of Tennessee.

Texas Aggie fans dream of Johnny Football running around their heads.

Mizzou fans keep waking up and going back to sleep hoping they wake up back in the Big 12.

And Arkansas fans are all suffering from sleep deprivation – yawn!

Yes, a lot of dreaming and a lot of crying, but plenty of football left and plenty of opportunities for glory.

All times Eastern.

Kentucky at Missouri (-14) Noon, ESPNU

Thank goodness for Kentucky - the $EC version of a MAC team. Give Mizzou credit, they figured out pretty early who to schedule for homecoming. Kentucky had their annual $EC cover last week, so take Mizzou. The Line King can't wait to see this week's Mizzou uniform treat.

Tennessee at No. 13 South Carolina (-14) Noon, ESPN

The Visor versus The Pants. The Ol' Ball Coach versus the former LaTech coach. The winner has the inside track on the Peach Bowl. Oh, what might have been for these two teams. Big Orange has folded, but strangely still has a shot at a lower bowl, which is better than not going to one at all – like last year. Take the Visor.

Mississippi at Arkansas (-6) 12:21 p.m. ET, SEC Network

"The Black Bears and Hogs get a major push towards a bowl game with a win" was a headline The Line King saw on Monday – seriously. These two are what's wrong with the current bowl system. To think they both could go to any bowl game is just shameful. Mississippi has three wins versus FB$ teams with a combined record of 4-18. Arkansas has only two wins versus FB$ teams with a combined record of 2-13!!!

No. 2 Florida (-6.5) vs. No. 10 Georgia 3:30 p.m., CBS

The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party will decide the SEC East divisional champion. Which leads to the obvious question: what's the World's Largest Indoor Cocktail Party? Dog fans have to drink to stand watching their defense underperform week in and week out. This game really hasn't been much a rivalry lately either. The Dogs are 4-18 since 1990. Take the Gators because they actually care.

No. 20 Texas A&M (-15) at Auburn 7 p.m., ESPNU

My gosh, a two-touchdown home dog to one of the "new" teams! How low can one team sink?  Barn has been a home dog only 11 times over the last 11 seasons. Oh well, good ol' New Mexico State rolls into town next week.  Drop the 15 and yell "Run, Johnny Football, run"!!!

UMASS at Vanderbilt (-32.5)  7 p.m., ESPN3

The Line King is surprised Vandy is the only $EC team that figured out UMass counts toward six wins. Even more surprising is the fact that at Vandy even has a chance at a bowl. The Line King has looked and can't find Vandy ever laying more than 30 against a FB$ team. The Vandy fan is giddy.

No. 11 Miss State at No. 1 Alabama (-24) 8:30 p.m., ESPN

The Dogs are 7-0 overall this season. They sit atop the SunBelt standings at 3-0 and are 3-0 against $EC doormats Auburn, Kentucky and Tennessee. They are 3-0 against teams from Alabama. They are 1-0 in the state of Alabama and 2-0 against teams from Alabama. They are 2-0 on the road. All that comes to a crash this weekend, although laying 24 points is a bit, still Bammer has covered four out of the last five years against MSU.

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